Archive for the Dive Bar Babies Category

Mila Kunis – Dive Bar Baby Sept. ’08

Posted in Bar, Dive Bar Babies on September 24, 2008 by Dustin "the Bartender" Pena

Mila Kunis is exactly the type of chick you’d like to buy a Pabst in your local watering hole. She’s the total package for any inconsistent drunk who’s not sure what he’s feeling today. On one hand she provides the voice talent for Meg Griffin on the FOX TV show Family Guy. So if you’re in a good mood you could brag that your girl Mila is on one of the funniest shows on the tube today and point out how your buddies’ girl is only on your nerves.

On the other hand, she was also on one of the shittiest shows to ever burn your eyeballs, That 70’s Show. Ewww. So if she pisses you off you could point at her in front of everyone in the bar and say “You suck. Your were on That 70’s show, the suckiest piece of suck that ever sucked! Get me a beer, Suck, or you’ll be on a new show called That Beat Up Girl Show! Man, you suck!” Everyone can feel good about that, right?

 

So here’s a raised beer to you Ms. Kunis. You’re hot as shit and have a checkered job history that plays well into both hands. I would drink warm beer out of your empty shampoo bottle just to smell the interior of your car. Cheers!

Kat Von D – Dive Bar Baby Aug. ’08

Posted in Dive Bar Babies on August 19, 2008 by Dustin "the Bartender" Pena

Last Dive Tradition’s Dive Bar Baby for August 2008 is none other than the inked up drunk, Kat Von D. Fans of the show L.A. ink know exactly what I’m talking about…or not. There’s just something about a chick with shit scribbled all over her canvas that really paints my brush.

Chances are she’s probably a douche in person but from a legal court ordered distance she’s a real work of art. If ever there was a poster child for Dive Bar Babies, Kat Von D is a front runner with an ace in her hole. My friends call me Ace. We raise our reasonably priced beers to you Ms. Kat Von D. Thanks for making women interesting again if only for a moment. When she’s in the bar it’s always happy hour…if she’s there from 5pm to 8pm, otherwise it’s regular hour. Regular hour rules.